coffee date: cloudy with a chance of skim milk and self-loathing
Monday, May 16, 2011
This Monday morning as I sit with my coffee, dark and shiny in my favorite plain white mug, I can't help but wonder about what millions of women around the world are thinking as they look at the reflection in their coffee. Studies show that 8 out of 10 women are dissatisfied with their reflection and more than half see a distorted image. I can't tell you how happy I am that Jennifer Lopez was voted the Most Beautiful Woman In The World! If I had a dollar for every woman who's told me her butt is too big, I'd be retired and wearing my Missoni bikini on a charted yacht in Micronesia, sipping coffee with a 007 look-alike, instead of wondering whether I need to use vanity sizing in my own line as someone recently advised.
Imagine being in the inner sanctum of a women's dressingroom at a giant department store and suddenly being able to hear everyone's inner most thoughts as they look at themselves in the mirror. Every insecurity, frustration,self loathing self esteem issue under the sun is blurted out. That's a bit what scanning the #whattowear twitter feed is like. Despite the cringe factor, I like to read it because real style concerns do emerge from the mass fashion hysteria. It also reminds me so much of the days when woman after well-heeled woman would enter my booth at fashion trade shows and spill their own doubts about their body, age, and weight. It made a huge impact on me, and is why I named this blog, Trust Your Style. My wish for everyone today is to look back into that coffee cup and as Tyra would say, Smile with your eyes!
xo Mary Jo
Imagine being in the inner sanctum of a women's dressingroom at a giant department store and suddenly being able to hear everyone's inner most thoughts as they look at themselves in the mirror. Every insecurity, frustration,
xo Mary Jo
Labels: self-image, trust your style
posted by Mary Jo at TrustYourStyle at
Monday, May 16, 2011
I'm Mary Jo, a handbag designer living in sunny California.
TrustYourStyle is where I
share inspiration and connect with other
style lovers. Did I mention I celebrate 
20 Comments:
I would like to show you my shop at http://ikatijewellery.pl/ :) I hope it looks nice. Waiting for opinions, Best Regards.
I guess everybody would love the read every body's head during shopping.
hahaha
Good point
Lee x
Thanks Mary Jo! Happy Monday.
I think there's a lot of external cues women tend to internalize: that a certain look is what guys want, that being pretty fits in a box (or a magazine), that being different isn't good. We can pretend we don't hear these things but we do. I try to fight them as much as I can but it's hard sometimes. I'd like to see things change -- how, I don't know but I think we can start to make it happen.
i think i'm definitely similar to you as i think that is cringe worthy...but, not i'm off to read it :)
Amen!! Strangely enough, becoming a mother has done wonders for my body image. I sure wish I had appreciated my looks and figure more in my twenties!
I wonder if blogger has a limit to how long a comment can be like twitter?! haha! I will keep it as short as I can.
I could go on and on about this. I had myself a little self loathing party with my coffee this morning , and that is the truth! hating myself for putting this weight back on and making a plan as to how to lose it! This was a spot on post for millions. Sadly.
You are awesome,
Have a pretty day!
Kristin
You make a very good point, Mary Jo. It's ok to have style models, but we should not forget that what looks gorgeous on someone else might look not even good on yourself. You really have to be brave enough to find your own style to represent you and learn how to highlight your qualities and not think so often at your flaws. Hope your week is off to a great start! :) Ada
Apparently great minds think alike... I wrote about how limited our definition of beauty is today as well- and how the plays a role on self-esteem!
In some ways, I think we have grown the definition. But in others we still have a far way to go.
Some of it is our own fault--- the standards we put on other women. Some blame can be put on men or the media machine.....
Today however, I think our greatest weapon against it is our own mind. We must make a choice to appreciate ourselves today. Imperfections and all.
A most excellent reminder! Especially on a Monday when our moods tend to be dark!
So much insecurity in the world and a lack of self-worth. If only everyone could find ways to trust their style. It would be a great confidence booster for many, I think. ;)
What great sentiments! It's a good reminder, especially when it's so easy to get wrapped up in social pressures of how "we're supposed to look."
alexa
www.theshortandthesweetofit.com
I think part of the problem is fashion itself. So many fashion trends only look good on very slender, young women. Take skinny jeans - they look horrible on me! They look horrible on lots of people, but we still feel obliged to wear them and then yes, our self esteem takes a hit. I wish women would worry less about being in fashion and more about looking, and feeling, great!
Love,
Heather
http://thestyleconfessions.com/
This is a really beautiful post and love getting to hear how Trust Your Style got its name. This got me thinking of a time when I had body image issues. Luckily I feel incredibly comfortable with my body now, there was a time when being short was so awful and awkward. Over a long, long time of experimenting with clothes and not comparing myself to people who look nothing like me, I feel comfortable these days.
thank you for the reminder, Mary Jo. i need to be easier on myself. after i had the babies, i really don't feel comfortable about my body, especially my belly. but it made babies and i need to appreciate it more!
and yes, Jennifer Lopez is beautiful! it's also nice that they didn't pick a 21 yo!
spinning-threads.blogspot.com
Very nice post, Mary Jo! I love J Lo!
Have a nice day, honey!
xoxoxo
Love this post, darling!
Thanks for sharing!
xoxox,
CC
Yes and I really love the title of your blog. And its even more inspiring coming from a designer. As you've said before, its so hard operating in a world where most of the images we see are of celebs who are incredibly beautiful and somehow we are comparing ourselves to them!
So true...if we could smile all the time we would be so much happier. Confidence and security....that is everything, xv.
Great post!
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