want to join me thinking inside and outside the bag?

Shannon bag: Italian calfskin and ultrasuede, Italian hardware. Lined in ultrasuede, including the inner pockets which are trimmed in calfskin so that your glasses are never scratched...as beautiful inside as out.


I know that I haven't shared much that is personal since my father passed away this February. I used to write quite a lot about my design life and then I stopped. I have no explanation except that I didn't feel like it anymore. In fact I didn't feel like designing or writing or expressing much of anything.



I wake sometimes in the middle of the night or early morning and stress over the thousands of dollars worth of my couture women's clothing line (fourteen looks to be exact) plus four new luxe handbag designs sitting locked up in my work room. Never shown. Never sold. Never nothing. The rest of the time I try not to think about it and just get on with life.

Last week I was reading my friend Christopher Rico's blog, Machinations of A Distracted Mind. He was talking about destroying his own work and starting again and ended his post with a quote by Gauguin: Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going? The big questions. Normally I don't think much about them, but lately I feel like I'm reevaluating everything in my life. The where do we come from part has played itself out literally for me and I'm left trying to figure out what I am and where I'm going now that my compass for so much of who I thought I was has died. The big questions are suddenly relevant. There's a lot I still don't know but it's very clear in my mind that I want to continue designing and that this is what I believe I'm here to do for the rest of my life.





A few weeks ago I started showing my bags and making some private sales. After months of not even thinking even about them, they're suddenly back in my consciousness. I decided to start carrying the largest of my new bags, a bowling bag I named the Shannon bag. Carrying a bag you've designed is always an interesting experience. After all these years I still haven't quite figured out if the attention it receives comes from the bag or the aura of unspoken parental love I have for it. I tried to explain this to my business partner--the way that people were looking at my bag at Pete's Coffee and how I couldn't tell if they were looking because there was something wrong or something right about it. He promptly told me that this is why I'm crazy.



photo #17: the contents of my bag


With all this handbag thinking going on, I decided to start a new series about what people carry inside of their bags and I'd start with what was in mine. Now I know this is not ground-breaking in any sense of the word. Except for the fact that I've never done it because I'm always slightly embarrassed by what's in my bag. As you can see, I carry a lot of doubles. Two pair of sunglasses, two pens, two lip glosses, two nail polishes. Usually two cameras, but one I was using and the other one has gotten too heavy to schlep around. I'd carry two phones but I'm so bad about losing my phone that it would stress me out if I had to worry about two. And my keys and wallet--you really can't get more utilitarian. If you'd lost your keys and wallet as many times as I have, you'd understand my KISS reasoning. After years of living with the absent-minded (myself), I manage by being a little obsessive--which is why I've never wanted to share the contents of my handbag with anyone. But fair is fair and soon some of you will hopefully send in photos of the content of your handbags.

Since we're on the subject of obsessive, I have to mention how annoying I find the trendy belief that being a perfectionist is a terrible thing because it keeps you from being happy. I mean, what would they have said to Albert Einstein? Listen Al, you should give up that whole theory of relativity thing, it's bringing you down. Or: Coco I love you, but stop with that little black dress pattern you're working on, besides it's so morbid! There's no better feeling than finding a better way to do something. Even if no one else thinks it's better. Don't you agree that it's in your pursuit of perfection that many happy accidents happen that are even better than what you thought was perfection? Going for perfection is great because it doesn't have to end up like you thought it would, only better than it was before you started. For the record, none of my heroes went around telling themselves "don't worry be happy". Of course I'm only trying to absolve myself for taking 22 photos of the contents of my handbag. And I'm still not totally satisfied. But what came to me while I was doing this (beside a few thoughts to the tune of "hurry up you have so many more important things to be doing") was how I was enjoying the gorgeous light that filters into my kitchen in the mornings and the process of trying to catch something that I felt could only be expressed through this photo. I wasn't really sure what that something was, but I liked where it was going.



Photo #9. Yep. It took me 9 shots before I remembered to add in my Blackberry, which (unfortunately) is always with me. P.S. that's a vintage hankie I picked up at the flea market yesterday.


In the time it took me to work out the photo, I started thinking how symbolic the content of one's handbag really is. If you pour out the contents of your bag, it's an instant snapshot of who you are in the context of your life (and less smelly than going through your trash, which I suppose is another way to view who you are). For some reason while I was photographing, I flashed back to a moment in time when I must've been around eight years old. I was outside playing in the backyard and came in to use the bathroom. I remember staring at myself in the oval mirror and trying to imagine what I would be like when I grew up. What would I look like? What would I do? Who would I become? I still kind of remember what I thought I'd look like. She was much more glamorous than I turned out to be. Shorter because no one ever expected me to be tall. And she had better hair. I think this memory that I haven't thought of in years came back to me because I gave myself permission to just keep going in a certain direction, if only for a few minutes.

I also flashed on what my yoga teacher Guru Singh told me years ago when I told him I'd started a handbag line. I thought he'd nod and smile but instead he looked me right in the eye and said, "This is a very special occupation. Bags are the receptacle of a woman's dreams."

I'm pretty sure I said, "What?"

"Bags are the receptacle of a woman's dreams. There's a reason you chose to do this."

Again, forgotten till this morning. And then there was the pleasure of letting my film school education kick in for a moment.


Try the light this way:


photo #11


Frame it this way:


photo #13


Look at it from an opposite direction to keep it fresh:


photo #20


Then the doubts. God, maybe the first photo was better than all of these and this was a big waste of time:


photo #1


But finally I felt like I got it. There's something I liked about photo #22.


photo #22. Contents of my bag, clockwise: Cath Kidson wallet I won from a Luphia Loves give-away, Wintergreen Altoids, Jessica Custom Nail Color in Loving the Lilacs and Baby's Breath, two pair of Marc Jacobs glasses--I really love them, Angeleno Magazine, Cosmoholic and Aubrey's Organics lip glosses, fortune cookie, keys to my car and house on a YogaWorks keytag that I've never used, writing tablet, two pens, Blackberry, Barack Obama Commemorative Edition Jorg Gray watch--every time I put it on I feel so glad to be living during this time--but it's a little on the clunky side, so sometimes it rides in the bag.


I would love to feature the content of your bag on trustyourstyle. You can say as little or as much as you'd like to about it. Just email me at trustyourstyle@gmail.com.